Back to School 2020: Missouri mom picks a private school
In the first of the “Back to School 2020” Series, Missouri mom Stephanie Huff describes her journey to pick a school that fit her daughter's unique needs.
I am the mother of a 6-year-old girl. Her father and I are older than the parents of her peers, so COVID presents unique challenges because of our elevated risk category. Our daughter is an only child. She lives on a street filled with kids that are her best friends. Usually, that’s a blessing. But in March, when the pandemic kicked in and the schools closed, we started limiting her contact with friends. We let her meet up with her friends outside and ride bikes, but were always yelling, “six feet” and felt nervous about letting them get too close.
Luckily, we have a swing set in our backyard, but what kid wants to swing and slide by herself? I tried to compensate by ordering a badminton game and other outdoor activities, but playing with Mom every day can get a little old and isolating for a child.
To make things worse, virtual kindergarten didn’t work. Our teacher sent links for lessons and we had a weekly Zoom calls. Every day we tried to work on her letters, reading, and math. Some days were good. We spent time together, did art projects together, curled up and watched movies together and just played. But some days were really tough and she would get extremely frustrated.
We saw some real problematic behavior. Meltdowns, hitting, kicking and refusals. I tried to give her space and take some deep breaths. There were a few times that the tantrums got pretty bad, so she lost plenty of privileges. More than once, I gathered up all her toys and put them in the basement or sent her to her room to calm down. As a first-time parent, I always struggle with the right kind of discipline. I want her to be well-behaved, but I hate threatening to take something away, or bargaining that she’ll get “x” when she finishes “y.”
Luckily, summer finally came. By that point the information about the virus made us feel that playing outside with other kids was fairly safe. We let our daughter swing, slide, and play in blow-up pools with the other kids.
Plan A, virtual instruction in public school
When it was time to go back to school this Fall, we had to choose between going "in-person" with a private school or virtual with a public school. This choice about did me in, but we finally picked virtual for safety. (The school district took the in-person instruction off the table for now.) I planned to fix up my office as a mini-schoolroom and began talking with other parents and tutors about a forming part-time pod. But our daughter hated it. She regressed. She threw herself on the couch and cried when we were picking reading and Math curricula.
Her Dad, a university professor, became concerned that if she wasn’t attending school in person she would disengage from learning.
Plan B, in-person instruction at a private school
So we did a 180° change in our thinking, and started looking for schools offering in-person instruction. I never dreamed I would be paying tuition for a first grader. The private school we decided upon has only 12 kids per class.
It felt safe. Kids must wear masks all day, and when they do get a “mask break” the teacher has acrylic desk shields she puts between the children. They sit in every other seat at lunch and parents don’t get to go volunteer or join them at lunchtime as they could during a normal school year. The school ran a summer program that had no COVID infections, so they were experienced in enforcing safety measures.
So far so good. At this writing, our daughter is only on day four but loves it and can’t wait to get there. (Great breakfasts are part of the tuition cost and she REALLY likes their waffles.) But of course, the thought always in the back of my mind is “Is the risk worth it?” If we catch the virus the answer will of course be “no.” Are we being responsible or irresponsible? We limit activities. We haven’t been to a restaurant since March and only visit with people outdoors. Her Dad double-masks when he goes to a store, and I slather myself in hand sanitizer until I can get to a sink.
I know she’ll learn more in-person than she would in virtual school. She thrives on social interaction. She has an engaging teacher. Her school even offers piano lessons as part of the tuition. I’ve seen Facebook posts and had texts from friends who say virtual isn’t working for their first graders, but all the private and parochial schools are full so they are very frustrated and worried.
I’m proud of us for taking action, yet worried we took the “easy” road at our own peril. Will it work out, or is today the day her Dad and I come down with COVID? We are all living in a time of fear and ambiguity. I just keep trying to take deep breaths and wipe down the door knobs for the third time this morning.
